#2 Sensitivity & Processing Thoughts

Find Your Voice, Change Your Life Podcast
Podcast Host: Dr. Doreen Downing
Free Guide to Fearless Speaking: Doreen7steps.com

Episode #2 Johnnie Urban

“Sensitivity & Processing Thoughts”

(00:02) Doreen:
Hi, I’m Doreen Downing and this is the podcast “Find Your Voice, Change Your Life” and today I get to interview a wonderful entrepreneur that’s been in the business of helping people find their voice themselves and she leads authentic speaking programs and I’d like to introduce Johnnie Urban. Johnnie Urban teaches coaches, healers and therapists to craft and deliver such a clear and powerful message that it’s compelling, so compelling that the ideal client can’t wait to work with you. I think that’s fabulous to be able to speak in such a way that its magnetic. Johnnie is founder and CEO of Sensitive Authentic Speaker, certified master trainer in NLP and a hypnotherapist. And Johnnie, thank you so much. This is a pleasure to get to know you better and to offer what your message is out to the world especially, to those of us who are more introverted, sensitive and feel like we have a voice but have had a struggle in finding it. So today I’d like to ask you a couple of questions. Well first is there anything else you’d like to say about yourself before I get into asking you my questions.

Johnnie:
Well, first of all, I want to thank you Doreen for inviting me to be on this program with you. You know it’s like when we first met, it was like we were sisters from another mother, we just connected and I just, I love the fact that we’re helping each other out but right now. You’re helping me get my message out to the world. So, thank you so much for this invitation

Doreen:
Yeah, absolutely! All right, so since it’s about having a sense that you didn’t have a voice, how was it that speaking, finding your voice or being in public let’s say was a struggle for you.

(02:17) Johnnie:
Yes. I think the biggest struggle is when I first started speaking and
you’re talking, like oh my gosh I’ve been a coach for nearly 20 years and when I went out there and all the training that I had to get my certifications and everything.They just said, “well the best way to get you know clients is to just get out there and start speaking” but they didn’t teach you how to do this.

Doreen:
Yes!

Johnnie:
And being sensitive, it’s we have this piece of our nature where we pause to speak because of the way we process information in our brain. It’s like you know, I’m doing it right now. It’s like we go deep into our brain to think and feel and express and we’re also very concerned, at least most people I’ve talked to are concerned about making sure that we’re kind and gentle. We’re not going to say anything that’s going to
hurt anybody. That’s the last thing we want and we have that sensitivity and those thought processes that slow us down a little bit on being able to say something, in a way that conveys what we’re feeling because we feel deeply as do a lot of the sensitive people I work with. That’s why I work with specifically pretty much coaches, healers and therapists because a lot of sensitive people end up in those categories of work.Very sensitive, very caring, very talented people and they’re struggling to get clients. They’re struggling to make a living because they just cannot articulate those feelings about how they helped someone.
And what I found from my experience and my own personal experience too is like, we would show up at networking events or anything like that. Because we didn’t really know how to express our feelings and emotions and passion which is what people really want to hear, we would show up and we would talk about our certifications and the language
would show up of what we can do. Those tools and modalities and everything that we actually use with people to help them heal. We would show up and talk about all those but the thing is most people don’t want to hear all that stuff. They want to hear the results that they can get, the deep benefits of what they get when they get healed or worked with somebody and what I was noticing is that when people would get up and talk is that they all sounded the same. I was guilty of that too.
I’d just get up and I talk about hypnotherapy and NLP and all this kind of stuff, all what we call the features that you’re gonna get. People kind of like, yeah that’s good but then they’re like but what am I gonna get when you use hypnotherapy and NLP and all these little tools. What am I ultimately gonna get. They are confused and the confused mind will never purchase. And if we all stand up, six people stand up in a networking event all say the same cookie cutter thing, how are you going to decide anyway which person is a good fit for you. So nobody got attention with that same cookie cutter message. And I personally struggled with it and I go, wait I know I’m talented, I’ve got all these people that I’ve helped and yet nobody is wanting to talk with me or hire me. It was an eye-opening experience and so what I did is, I said, okay I think I need some training, I think I need someone to help me and so I went and hired some trainers that are specifically first public speaking and I even did Toastmasters and a little bit of what they taught really worked well but a lot of it didn’t. And I came to the conclusion it is because of their background. Their background was theatre, TV, arts, voice coaching. They wanted to turn us into performers and we sensitive people, we want to be authentic. We don’t want to be a performer. So I struggled with what they were teaching. I rejected most of what they were teaching and I go, wait you want me to do what and stop doing what and I go, that’s not me. And the thing is I’ve talked to so
many other sensitive people and everything and they’re just like, yeah it’s like I want to be my authentic self and here’s the thing, your audience, aren’t those the people we’re speaking to? We’re speaking because of the audience. What the audience really wants is who we are authentically in all of our colors and vulnerabilities and everything they want to hear us who we are, authentically and that’s how they’ll determine whether they’re going to work with you or not. It’s not about performing.

Doreen:
It’s so good to hear both what happened in the beginning where you showed up and then realized that you weren’t trained to be a speaker.
You know you’ve got a passion and you want to share it, but how do you do it in such a way that it reaches the people that you really feel like you can serve best and to be in your own process and discover what you needed and then to say, okay where can I find it. I know what you mean about Toastmasters, I learned the skills but it didn’t reach the deeper part of where my fear was. So what happened next?

Johnnie:
Yeah and so I began showing up with my new skills because basically I took a little bit of what I learned from these paid trainers and then I said, okay let me create something that works for me. Let me come up with a system that I know will work for me, that I’m not dependent on notes. Yes you can have little note cards to keep you on track. I’m not dependent on notes though. What if you lose your notes? What if oh heaven forbid they all fall on the floor and they’re out of order. What do you do? And so the system that I came up with worked for me and how I operate and how my brain operates and everything I am. Highly visual. So I need to have pictures in front of me to remind me what to say next but the system that I created is in three chunks. It’s what are you going to say in the beginning, the middle and the end. And then if you can just get through the first chunk and say what you want to say and convey what you want to say. I’m talking, not just about speaking. I’m talking
what are you going to put in print? What are you going to put on your website in a certain order that will keep people engaged? What are you going to put in print if you’re doing copy, anywhere like a sales page or even on internet, you know social media, messages. It’s like once you get this package created, basically a brand package created where your stories are there, your teachings are there, but you got to do it in a way that keeps people engaged. Once you get all that in the foundation,
it makes your marketing so much easier and it’s not confusing and you can add. Yin and take out and expand and shrink like an accordion. It’s just a system. It’s basically what it is.

Doreen:
So what you’re saying is, the voice isn’t just standing up on a stage.
Your voice shows up in print, your voice shows up even in one-to-one conversations you’re talking about what it is that you do even on a call with somebody who’s interested in working with you. What I love is that it comes from essence of you. It isn’t just something that you’ve made up and it’s in your head and you’ve got to remember what to say and remember your speech or your elevator pitch. It feels really relational.

Johnnie:
It is very relational and it’s exactly what people want and I kind of like came up with. I noticed all of this because I’m a very observant kind of person and I ask myself more intelligent questions. Here’s the thing, if you want a better answer, ask a better question. So I kept asking myself deeper questions. What is the one thing about this situation that makes all the difference in the world? And so I’d start searching for that one thing and I started noticing audiences that were listening to a compelling speaker and what did the speakers say or do that all of a sudden the audience started sitting up and being engaged. What is it that they did and I took notice of that and I go, ah that’s a good one. Then, I also took notice of things that they did or said that didn’t work. And then go, oh that’s what didn’t work, so I bring all of that into the trainings that I do and plus I’ve been with working with Tony Robbins for 20 years. I’m one of his senior leaders on a health facilitated program. So he’s a master storyteller and I’m breaking down the stories that he says. He says everything for a purpose and it’s to help you learn more about yourself and to be compelling and inspiring. So just being in that environment and watching the master of all people that can do this, it’s kind of like ingrained in me now. I want to answer your question. Once I learned the system and I started doing it with myself because basically I was my first client. I started doing it myself, locally, networking, even online, interviews and everything and I started just using this pattern that became so easy to use and I felt so for the first time. I felt so much more like myself and I was doing this in networking events and all and I was getting clients. I was getting the right clients, the clients that are easy to work with, that love everything you teach, embrace everything you teach and go forth into the world and create their little empire and take care of people that they’re designed to take care of.

Doreen:
Rippling

(02:17) Johnnie:
So rewarding, so rewarding. You develop your talk not to serve everybody but to serve the person that’s just right for you and I started doing this. And all these people at the networking events that I was going to were coming to me and saying we’ve noticed a difference. You’re getting clients and jobs and everything and it’s like can you teach me to and I didn’t think I was going to be doing that but I’m at heart a teacher and so I say, okay well let me see what I can pull together. So 10 years ago, this month March, I started. I had my very first class and it was in the back of a coffee shop in the open forum. It was just a small mom and pop shop and people could come and go and get their coffee whatever to sit and listen and everything. I started in the back of the coffee shop with six people. We met once a week for six weeks and I just taught them everything that I was doing and everything I knew
and they were just amazed with what they learned and they gave me beautiful testimonials and just recently one of my students, his name is John. We connected on LinkedIn and he sent me a message, he goes, oh my gosh Johnnie! it’s like I was wondering I hope you know where you were and this and that, he says, because of my class he changed his course of his career 10 years ago and now he’s successful working for a corporation. He was so super shy he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what to do with himself and all this and I just got the best of him to come out.

Doreen:
Yes and what you’re saying is, in his example it isn’t necessarily about him being a presenter on a stage. It was him just being more centred in his life and finding his next whatever and it was the job that was right for him. And it wasn’t necessarily about getting a presentation together. It was like, probably the interview went well.

Johnnie:
The biggest benefit that comes out of my trainings is confidence. You know it’s like how do you learn confidence, how do you get it and there’s lots of different ways but my technique is and I guess it’s a gift, I see the greatness in everybody. Yeah, it may be hiding, you may have hidden it, you may have put a mask on and hid it and everything like that but I see it’s there and it’s just a matter of helping you see it too. And helping
you bring it out and embrace it, not be afraid of it.

Doreen:
Yeah, the mirroring that you’re talking about, people don’t have those kind of positive mirrors that they look out in the world and then somebody’s going yay! you’re beautiful or you’re magnificent! What comes back to them usually is some kind of judgment and how you can do it better. But what you’re doing is witnessing and mirroring and helping somebody go, “oh yes that’s who I am”.

Johnnie:
And what I do is, it’s not temporary, it’s permanent. My NLP background helps me anchor that into you and it’s you have the rest of your life.

Doreen:
Yeah, well I believe it’s always been in there. It just hasn’t been seeing the light of day.

Johnnie:
Exactly. It’s always there. It’s that greatness that you’re entitled to because you were born with it but it was never nurtured or maybe it was squashed by people that raised you and was in your life.

Doreen:
Definitely, yeah. As a psychologist, that’s where I go, into those deep roots because in speaking, it feels like people think that they just can’t do it but once they tap into what you’re talking about, their greatness
I call it essence it feels like they go, oh there’s a voice there and so that’s what this is about, it is finding your voice, changing your life and you’ve given us a couple of examples today. Not only you finding your voice and being able to not only change your life but help others change their lives. Anything else? I think you’ve got some program coming up that I want to make sure to help people, guide people too.

(20:38) Johnnie:
Yeah, thank you so much. Yes, I’m so excited that I’m gonna launch
a five day easy peasy challenge that starts Monday, here Monday the 15th and it’s going to help teach people and help people find
what it is part of their essence and their story and everything. But the core of what I’m going to be teaching in quickly in five days, I mean it’s like three keys. Three critical keys and pieces that you must have when you’re speaking about your business and I’m not going to kind of go into it deep right now because of the time we have. But it’s if you don’t have these three pieces, you’re going to be missing out on some clients. It’s conveying what you need to have but it’s also where are you going to speak at because if you go out and speak, I made this mistake. I was trying to speak everywhere and people are doing it to this day. It says, oh I’m going to get on these podcasts but is it your audience listening to this podcast? So, you’ve got to decide who’s your ideal client, where do they hang out, what podcast do they listen to? I’m saying podcasts a lot because that’s where we don’t have a lot of live stages right now with the pandemic going on. So we have to speak online and the best way to do it is all of these podcasts that are springing up everywhere and you find the ones that work for you. And there’s so many out there. So it’s a matter of finding one. But here’s what’s been happening to me lately is, I would say in the last year because my message has been so clear and concise for a while now that I’m out there in the world. I’m on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, all those places because my heart is to help people. So people are finding me and all these podcast people, interviewers are saying, can I interview you? So I’m in a place I don’t have to go search anymore. I’m busy, I do podcast, I do interviews probably three, four times a week because people are reaching out to me and saying your message is valuable, my people want to hear this so that’s what I want. To help people have a business and your marketing this effortless. So that you can actually live, do your business and helping people, it’s kind of like staying in your lane, the zone of genius so that you know. Yes, you have to do some marketing and maybe you’ll bring someone in to help you do that marketing so that you can
do what you love doing and what the world needs from you. But
gosh if your message was clear and concise and compelling, it makes your marketing a lot more easier.

Doreen:
Well, those are three C’s: Clear, Concise, Compelling.Easy to r remember. Well so, how do people find you now? What can you say? Where can you guide them?

Johnnie:
Well I’ll make it easy for you to join the challenge at this point and you can put the link in the message when we get done here but a really easy way to get to the sign-in page for the challenge is if you can text the word challeng to this phone number 714-887-8101. So the number again 714-714-887-887-8101. Yeah, you text the word challenge, you will get instant access to the webpage where you can go in and read all about it
and sign up right there.

Doreen:
Fabulous! That’s easy like you say easy peasy. Well thank you for selecting this podcast to be showing up and sharing your insights and your work. I think that the people who do follow me and who would find “Find Your Voice, Change Your Life” something that is compelling and so that this feels like a perfect platform for you to have your message reach people who are out there who want to be authentic and connected to their true selves and being able to share their gifts,
greatness as you say.

Johnnie:
Yes, the world is hurting right now. People are out there in a place of massive uncertainty and yes we’re beginning to see light at the end
of the tunnel but it’s still a long haul and if you’re dependent on the government to bail you out there, it’s very limited. If you’re depending on your job being there when this is all done, it may not be. If you’re dependent on somebody else supporting you and taking care of you, it’s time for you to decide that you can create your own economy, all talented and gifted in some way or another and there’s people out there that want you, that want what you have to give and it’s a matter of getting your message clear and concise and compelling, so that the right people find you and you find them.

Doreen:
Yeah, there we go again. Clear, Concise, Compelling.
Thank you so much!

Johnnie:
You’re welcome, Doreen!