#23 The Magic of Belonging and the Fullness of Expression

FIND YOUR VOICE, CHANGE YOUR LIFE PODCAST 

Podcast Host: Dr. Doreen Downing

Free Guide to Fearless Speaking: Doreen7steps.com

Episode #23 “Robin Winn”

“THE MAGIC OF BELONGING AND THE FULLNESS OF EXPRESSION”

Dr. Doreen Downing [0:39]

Hi, this is Dr. Doreen Downing and I’m with the FIND YOUR VOICE, CHANGE YOUR LIFE podcast. I love interviewing people who have a story to share about not having a voice in their life. They came to realize that they needed to find their voice and they went on an inner journey. Now they can share the gifts of their journey.

Today I’m going to give that opportunity to my friend Robin Winn, a little bio so you can get more information about her before she dives deep into her story. Robin is the best-selling author of “Understanding Your Clients Through Human Design: The Breakthrough Technology” and “Understanding the Centers in Human Design: The Facilitators Guide to Transforming Pain into Possibility.” She is a marriage and family therapist turned into a Human Design coach and trainer. Robin works with therapists and coaches to help them understand how they best operate as a way to improve their results with clients. Robin is also a writer, speaker, transformational coach, founder and director of “Foundations of Human Design Certification Program for Professionals”. Thank you, Robin, for being here and sharing your story.

Robin Winn [2:29]

Thank you, Doreen. It’s a privilege and a delight to be here with you.

Dr. Doreen Downing [2:39]

What challenges did you face when you felt you didn’t have a voice?

Robin Winn [3:07]

I was born into a large family. I had five older brothers and a very powerful set of parents. My mom was a speaker and my brothers were national debaters. And when I came along, it was a loud family with a lot of opinions. When you spoke you had to state your sources. There was a sense of just having a feeling or thought that did not merit the speaking field. So, I learned very quickly not to speak. I always felt from the very beginning, I felt like touch was my first language. I could communicate through touch. I was sensitive that way. I could communicate through writing, but speaking, felt very dangerous for one and that I didn’t have a right to my voice. There wasn’t a platform that was available to me. It wasn’t until I went to therapy, that I had a chance to talk and be heard in a safe space. It took a long time to feel safe enough to speak and it was a struggle to find that but it was in the silence and the opening of the listening space of a therapist that enabled me to hear my voice even because though it had been buried for a long time. I couldn’t speak it out loud, but I could barely even hear what my thoughts and feelings were. So, I did find my voice through therapy, and I became a therapist. I still didn’t have the voice to speak in the world, to other people and groups. That didn’t happen until I met you. I went through the speaking circle training and the therapy setting, it recreated a container, a context to speak, to be heard that was not going to be judged or evaluated. And that was like magic. There’s almost nothing better than to be received through your voice. It’s spectacular. It opened a lot of doors for me and put me at ease in the world in a new way.

Dr. Doreen Downing [6:14]

What was the danger of speaking out in childhood?

Robin Winn [6:54]

I don’t maliciously think of that at all, this is not to blame anyone in my family. It was the culture that we grew up in, which was deeply competitive. It was all about proving yourself and being articulate about how you got power.

Dr. Doreen Downing [7:25]

We are supposed to be articulate and then we get the applause, grades, achievement and advancement in our businesses but sometimes it takes a long time to find out what you want to articulate and how you want to articulate it in your style and your own pace.

Robin Winn [8:00]

I think there’s another piece to that, which is something I’m interested in is, who’s talking? Is it the ego talking or is it our Beings talking? Because in my family, it was definitely about having the power of ego. It wasn’t the Beingness power, it wasn’t the Essence power. So being articulate was for the use of setting up a hierarchy. It wasn’t being articulate to be inclusive or to make space for everybody. That’s where the danger came because you were going to be a python to somebody in that formula.

Dr. Doreen Downing [8:49]

You must have been holding this precious spirit inside of yourself. What was the point of realization? Was it when you started therapy?

Robin Winn [9:19]

I was different from everyone from the get-go. There was a secret hiding place in me that no one could touch with their criticism or their judgment. At once something’s wrong with me and on the other hand, something special. That split and then knowing that they’re specialists here, and also the terror that I don’t belong here, what am I doing on this planet? I don’t have a voice without a voice.  It’s like living the nightmare. So, I had to decide at some point, I’m either going to be on the planet and show up here or I’m going to get off. That was a very real choice for me in my 20s.

Dr. Doreen Downing [10:48]

It’s amazing how we guide ourselves to the potential within us. Listening helps you learn how to listen to yourself, that’s how therapy works. This is a podcast about voice and how to find your voice and speaking, but it’s all about, if you can’t listen to that voice, you can’t find your voice. It’s inside you, disconnected and lost and the potential remains unmanifested.

Robin Winn [11:48]

I found my voice through bodywork being touched as well. I studied the Rosen method of bodywork; it was touch therapy. And that was a listening that could allow me to begin because it had to do with the voice. You could see in my breath if it was true or not, so it started honing me to my truth.

Dr. Doreen Downing [12:12]

The whole fullness of expression through body voice and psyche. And learning how to read that is what it sounds like you did. It first was to learn how to listen to your body speak.

Robin Winn [12:35]

Yes, my own body and other people’s body’s conversation hooking up with inner voice.

Dr. Doreen Downing [12:46]

Is there’s something else you want to share about the history and awakening of your voice.

Robin Winn [12:56]

I want to say that what happened for me is that my mom had such a big voice, my brothers had a big voice. But my mom was a speaker, she could impact people. She was facile with words. I gave her that realm rather than me. So, I abandoned that inside of me because I saw as a little kid deciding not to walk. After all, everybody else is walking. I didn’t know that I could do the steps it took to get to that place. I would be different from the way she did it. Because I felt a little abused by the way she did or it was in a more top-down place, rather than that curiosity place. I have a voice but you also have a voice. Let me hear your voice. We all have a voice and we need everyone’s voice.

Dr. Doreen Downing [14:05]

You learn to take steps to find your voice through the method of bodywork. What other aspects are included in your journey?

Robin Winn [14:38]

25 years ago, I met Byron Katie. She created a space of listening that I had never met before. It was a space of listening to whatever was said and was welcomed. There was nothing I could say to her, that she would then turn around and dismiss me. It was mind-blowing to realize that these things I would say that would come out of me hurt people sometimes, there’s space for those too. I didn’t have to repress my voice. All the voices inside, could be seen and looked at and welcomed and respected. And at the same time not taking for the ultimate truth. It’s scary to have a voice that sounds true. And then to find out that, I don’t have to believe that. So that was such a magical thing that happened there. The other magical thing that happened there was that I found my voice, I wanted to talk all the time. I had my hand raised and I was talking all the time because I wanted to be heard. She looked at me one time and she said, sweetheart, do you think we care what you have to say? It shut me up for two years but in a different way than I had been with my family. I was like, what did I want to say? Who was I saying this for? Was I saying something to be heard or trying to get attention? Did I have something of value to say at the right moment at the right time?

Dr. Doreen Downing [17:27]

Today’s session is amazing because it’s showing that voice just isn’t one place that you land, and find your voice. It’s an ongoing dynamic process and engaging with voices within learning and discerning what is true.

Robin Winn [17:52]

This reminds me of the first speaking circle with Lee, it was inappropriate but weird but I got it. I got it because the space was such a listening space. I didn’t have to be dramatic to be heard. It was not about getting someone’s attention.

Dr. Doreen Downing [18:29]

What does listening mean to you?

Robin Winn [18:33]

It’s about hearing the soul and authentic self.

Dr. Doreen Downing [18:44]

What is human design and how did you find your way there?

Robin Winn [18:59]

So, I had been a therapist for 25 years, and then human Design entered my world and rocked it. Human Design is a combination of astrology, physics, the Hindu chakra system and the Judaic Kabbalah. It takes your birth time and it creates a body graph or a chart as your blueprint, as you walk through life. It’s understood that each person is a piece of a giant puzzle of humanity. We’re all needed. When we try to live with someone else’s puzzle piece. We suffer and humanity loses out on what we have to bring. If Human Design was a game, the way to win the game would be to get what we call a ‘motor to your throat’. Because having access to your throat is the way you create the world in the beginning. So the whole movement in Human Design is to find a way to access your voice. There are three types and you’re one of them that have access to their voice, have a motor to the throat, you start off winning the game and there is no hierarchy here. But you have superpowers that whenever anyone’s in your presence, they have more access to their voice than they would have on their own. I don’t have consistent access to my voice. I was born that way. There’s no one who did me wrong. It’s not a problem. It’s just one of the conundrums I have to work within this lifetime. I hear my voice as I have to allow it to come through me. The more I surrender, the more the authentic voice comes through. I’m one of the three types that have to be in a relationship with others to access my voice. So, that’s how I get my power. You can stand on your own and have that capacity.

You take an Oprah artist; she can’t stand on her own. She needs to be interviewing people, her voice comes in relationships. My little puzzle piece has its voice and speaks and brings its light, each one of us has that and needs. We need everyone’s voice.

Dr. Doreen Downing [22:36]

In the Human Design System, for people who are listening today, it seems like everybody has a design, it’s based on certain criteria that you’ve pointed out, birth date and time. It’s more than just an astrological chart and this design is integrated into a human.

Robin Winn [23:09]

So, I studied many systems. I love systems. And this one does something that none of the others do. In Human Design, you have places where you have consistent access to certain energies. And then you have places where you don’t like my throat, I don’t have consistent access to that. It’s like a puzzle where some parts of the puzzle go out and some other parts of the puzzle receive other parts of the puzzle. This is a multi-dimensional puzzle. So, it reflects not only who we are, but the space that we are that other people enter.

Dr. Doreen Downing [23:49]

Who we are as well as the space when other people interact with us?

Robin Winn [23:59]

It’s the space and the planets, the space of who we are, as well as the definition of who we are. We take ourselves to be as body, but we know maybe we’re spirit. Human Design shows that you take yourself to be these energies. This is who I am but actually, you’re also the space in which life interacts with you constantly and always shifting.

Dr. Doreen Downing [24:31]

This shifting feels so dynamic. To me, it sounds like this is what it means to be alive.

Robin Winn [24:39]

Those spaces of who we are if ego grabs hold because it wants to be somebody have a voice or right, that effort of being something. We don’t have room for that dynamic interaction, we go to a false identity, and we lose out on the mystery of who we are.

Dr. Doreen Downing [25:13]

How would you say that people can take a first step in discovering more about human design?

Robin Winn [26:02]

You should get my book, “Understanding your clients for Human Design”, even though it’s for clients. It’s a very simple introduction to Human Design. You’ll want to get started with that. And I can give you resources for both of those. I’ll give you a free download to my book and a link to get a free chart. So you can start by looking at who you are, and what’s your puzzle piece?

Dr. Doreen Downing [27:15]

So, people can start by downloading your book, what would be the link for that?

Robin Winn [27:25]

You can download from clients and human design/free-book or send me an email at Robin@clientsandhumandesign.com to get in touch.

Dr. Doreen Downing [27:39]

Any last words, Robin?

Robin Winn [28:02]

Thank you for this opportunity to show up in the space between us and with each of us in our fullness and our openness. The image I’m having is that our voice is the light that we’re bringing to the world. And whether it’s spoken or not, we can bring that light but the speaking of it brings it into manifestation. Our job at this point with the world being as crazy as it is and disrupted, it’s an opportunity, and we must honor that voice and bring it into the light.

Dr. Doreen Downing [28:52]

Thank you for being here with us.

Robin Winn [29:13]

Thank you so much Doreen. It’s such an honor and a privilege to be in your presence to share with all of you out there who maybe get touched and called to discover and to find for yourself.